Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A post for Dad.

As Christmas draws near and the hustle and bustle of this blustery (rainy) season turns into mad dashes and panic to find that perfect gift, which the recipient doesn't really need or want, I have to take a minute to breathe. I have to take a step back and remember that this season is not about presents or perfect parking spaces. It's not about the stress of how much money you spent (is it too much? is it not enough?). It's not about what you ate, how much you ate, what you want to eat, etc.etc.etc. It is about who you spend this season with. It's about good times and creating memories that you will always be able to cherish.

This season I will try to work out at least once a day, but I'm not going to stress about it. I am going to surround my myself with the people, friends and family alike, who I love and love me back. And I will laugh. That's the point right?

So as I'm sure this is the last post you'll read before January I'd like to leave you with a feature article that I wrote two years ago for my dad. A man who loved Christmas and his family and knew how to do it right. With booze, food and loved ones.

So in my nostalgic Christmas moment I'd also like to ask you to step back and breathe. And laugh.


When is it Okay to Laugh Again?

Death is the only truly inevitable part of life. Everyone knows that death takes away, but anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one knows that death also brings a lot of things. It brings pain and sorrow, endings and goodbyes. It brings memories of the happy times but mostly it brings questions. Why him or her? What does this mean for me? Where do I go from here? And after the sudden death of my father, my friend, it left one question gnawing at my soul. When is it okay to laugh again?

My father was 57 when he was taken away from us. After a yearlong battle with throat cancer, most likely caused by second hand smoke, his heart suddenly stopped beating. The radiation that cured him from his cancer silently weakened his heart until it had no choice but to stop. Throughout this ordeal he never faltered. He was strong, had faith and a positive attitude. And most importantly he laughed every day. Though the cancer changed his appearance, he refused to let it change who he was as a person. He was at work at the time of his death, and we were notified by two police officers and our parish priest at 5:48 a.m. on April 21, 2005.

Our extended family on my mom’s side is extremely close. Literally. My aunt and uncle live across the street. So by 6 a.m. on that tragic day they had already begun to gather in our family home. As my uncle picked me up off the floor I remember wondering how he could possibly have gotten there so fast. Apparently I wondered it out loud and was told by my cousin that he ran. My family always joked that the only things that could make Terry run were food or a family emergency. The image of my short and very unfit uncle running at full speed with my aunt trailing behind him made me burst into laughter. Instantly I felt guilty. How could I be laughing when I had just learned of my dad’s death? How inappropriate of me I thought, as I stifled my laughter. What I didn’t realize was that that would only be the first of many times I would laugh in the days leading up to his burial.

My father was an extremely private person. He hated the idea of everyone knowing his business and couldn’t fathom the idea of Facebook . He didn’t even take calls unless he knew who was on the other end of the telephone. This meant many arguments in my house. Often the phone would ring off the hook, and my sister, my mother or I would run in to try to catch the caller only to find dad sitting right next to the phone and not picking it up. “Why can’t you answer the phone?!” one of us would always scream in frustration. And he would always laugh and repeat the same line. “It was an unknown caller and I don’t want to talk to anybody I don’t know.”

This habit was the topic of conversation before one of dad’s afternoon wakes. Though dad’s family wasn’t close like moms, in fact they weren’t close at all; dad’s brother had come to town for the services. He casually said “Speaking of calls. Have you heard from Uncle Jerry?”

“Uncle Jerry?” We all repeated at the same time.

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Your Uncle Gerard goes by Jerry. Has for years now.”

I suddenly burst into laughter again. This time my mind flashing back to a few weeks prior when the phone rang and a loud male voice said “Hello Darlin’, this is Jerry. Is Don there?” Instead of telling dad the phone was for him I quickly assumed he knew no one by that name, told Jerry that “No Don lives here.” And promptly hung up on my uncle.

The minute the laughter escaped my lips I felt a surge of guilt in the pit of my stomach. I was about to go see my father for the last time and I was sitting on a comfy couch, sipping green tea, and laughing. I was officially going to hell. No, I was going to under hell. The place for people so terrible that hell is too good for them. I felt like a horrible person, so I pushed the laughter aside and assumed my role as the grieving daughter.

The next morning we somberly dressed and piled into the family car, bracing ourselves for the funeral service. As I mentioned before dad was very private and so we expected a small turn out of family and very close friends. We knew dad wouldn’t have wanted something big and extravagant that just wasn’t who he was. But as we made the turn to face the church we saw that the parking lot was overflowing with cars, the spill over cars lined the streets before and after the church. Then we noticed the bus. There was nothing subtle about it. It was a full size, crimson red bus with the words “Canadian Coast Guard” splashed across it in gleaming white. Dad had worked at the Coast Guard College and had apparently touched many lives. He would have been mortified. And my bottled up laughter erupted. This time everyone else in the family car laughed too so I didn’t feel as bad. Hey, if I had to go to Underhell then at least they were all coming with me.

We gained our composure and entered the church. It was standing room only. He would not have been pleased. I prayed to god to not let me laugh as we followed the pall bearers ups the isle. That would have gone over well. I probably would have been struck by lightning.

The first three rows in the church were reserved for family members. We took our seats and the service began. I don’t remember everything that was said that day, I mean no one really pays in attention in church do they? But I do remember the priest calling my perpetually late father, “the late Donald Parsley” to which I accidentally said out loud “Nope! He’ll never be late again!” And hysterically burst into laughter along with the entire three family rows.

Leaving the church was not so funny. It was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. To walk away and leave him there was very sobering. As we again sat in the family car and waited to be driven to the graveyard for a final blessing it became quiet, almost awkward. My four year old cousin was with us because he refused to leave my mother’s side. He started to squirm and to entertain him we made funny faces at the mourners leaving the church through the tinted car windows. My mom calmly looked me and said “Lenore, the windows are just dark honey. They can all see you.” And this time I was mortified, and they all burst into laughter.

When I said leaving the church was the hardest thing I ever had to do, I lied. Leaving the final blessing at the graveyard was. As I stood next to my father’s grave clutching roses and crying harder than I could ever remember crying my aunt approached me cautiously. She was cautions for 2 reasons. First because she wanted me to have my alone time and second because it was April and there was still quite a bit of ice and snow in the cemetery. As she stepped closer to me her foot fell through what she thought was hard packed snow and she fell at my feet screaming “Jesus Lenore, its your father trying to take me with him!”

“Or at least tell me something” she said as she stood up, brushed herself off and joined me in my laughter.

Even in that moment of extreme despair I found myself laughing hysterically. And it dawned on me that she was right. He was trying to tell her something. He was trying to tell us all something. We should never be afraid to laugh. In moments where life crumbles around us, or changes so drastically it’s hard to believe or even understand, we must hold on to a constant. And why shouldn’t that constant be laughter? Coping with death is different for everyone. For me I look back and realize that dad would have laughed and he would have wanted me to laugh too. So when life brings death and death brings the question that gnaws at your soul: “When is it okay to laugh again?” I now know that the answer is we must never stop laughing in the first place.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Boring Post

It's 8am and my muscles are stiff and sore from my workout last night. I decided to get my ass back on track and hit the gym. It was packed. My usually quiet time of 7pm brought of lots of new and old faces, all aiming for some level of fitness.

What I learned at the gym last night is that my old trust elliptical machine has a much tougher resistance than I remembered. My legs were burning. I was dripping sweat. I couldn't really breathe. But I pushed through. Enough to survive a half hour of cardio, hit up the mats for some core and chat with a few people I haven't seen in a while. All in all it was a good time. Nothing majorly strenuous but a good first day back. I mean it's been like 3 weeks since I've seen the inside of the Y so I count last night as a victory.

I also count last night as a victory because after my gym rendezvous I still had this strange surge of energy. It had to be taken care of or I'd never get to sleep. So I popped in the Shred and hung out with JMike for another 27 minutes. And to my surprise I found level one super easy. Obviously by the time I was done my heart was racing and I looked like a hideous sweat monster, but it was soooo much easier than the times before. I've decided to give level 1 three more days and then take on level two again. I think I can handle it now. Actually I know I can handle it because last night when Jillian did her endurance rant and said that the day 5, 6, 7's should be having a way easier time by now, I was able to laugh and agree instead of screaming obscenities and wanting to punch her in the throat. So yay me for that!

I also discovered the importance of grocery shopping. Your thinking, OMG this girl is an idiot, DUH. But really by the time life slowed down enough for me to get to the grocery store I realized it had been 3 weeks since I'd been there. That is way too long! It felt nice to sweep through the aisles and throw healthy items into my cart.

And here I am. Finally back on track. Now to just tie myself to the wagon so I don't fall off again.

Oh yeah....and I promise more entertaining posts will follow in the weeks to come.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Oh this is why you don't stop once you start.....

a 4 day break + pizza for supper + JMike Levels 1 and 2 = me puking

Monday, November 29, 2010

so.... tired...

What a crazy week last week. We had TWO office birthday parties which meant pizza, cake, pop, chips, fruit, sandwiches. Also last week was focus groups so I was not home for a couple of nights and D was in Halifax again. The child is not sleeping and has led me to the stunning realization that I do not like toddlers. Not one bit. There is no reasoning. Everything is done so slowly. Everything is so exciting. I have not slept in weeks and weeks and it is beginning to show with laziness, anxiety and bad attitude. I think I have probably regained my two inches. I am at square one.

30 day shred is a 30 day failure so tonight I am going to try something new... I am going to try: Banish Fat Boost Metabolism. I will need both of those things to happen through the Season of Holiday eating.

Shameful Memory (last night, my living room): One medium cookie dough blizzard and me. Sigh.

I need some encouragement.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Size really does matter.....

I know its not my turn to post but I just have to put this out there before I forget what an issue it is for me.....

How come the pants I wore yesterday and the pants I'm wearing today are from the same store, the same make/fit, but are different sizes?

How is it possible to buy the same pants one year apart in two different sizes and have them be the exact same size? Does this make sense? I know its early and I'm rambling but come on.

There have been claims for years that stores have been consistently making their items smaller and marking the sizes larger but I never really paid attention to it. Now I am.

What purpose does this serve besides messing with peoples heads?

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Number Schmumber

So I needed some sort of push to get my ass back in gear after taking a 3 maybe 4 day hiatus due to some personal and mentally exhausting circumstances. So I woke up bright and early this morning and hopped on the scale. If the number was up then I would have to work harder. If the number was down then I would have to work harder anyway. The number was 2lbs UP! If this had been last week I would have spiraled into some kind of depression/rage and let it bother me all day, okay week. But this morning I didn't care.

I think I've come to the point where I've realized that the number is not what's important. I feel great right now, maybe its due to feeling emotionally lighter, I'm not sure. Regardless though it's fine.

My clothes fit better, I feel stronger and have more endurance when it come to cardio so I consider them all big wins. Oh and big news....I lost 2 inches in my chest! It was the only place I had the heart to measure but still. Another big win!

My next challenge is getting back into the routine of things, which I find extremely hard right now. Today for example I came to work early so that ruled out hitting the gym this morning and tonight we have an awards show to attend so that rules out hitting the gym tonight. There will also be some sort of salad/stuffed chicken/dessert combination, along with a bar at the event tonight. So that makes things tricky.

Then its off to Halifax for Mamma Mia, shopping and visiting friends. Trickier still. I'm starting to wonder if this whole balance thing is possible. If you can't find time to work out before work, during work or after work, how and when does it happen?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Epic Fail

Well. I don't know what to say. Currently, I am sitting in flannel pyjamas wearing two bathrobes and a blanket on a mini break from watching the 2007 BBC mini series of Persuasion on YouTube (as recommended by my friend Emily whose judgement on such matters should always be trusted). Why the levels of clothing? The furnace stopped working but we thought that was because we had run out of oil. Our aim was to run out of oil because we were buying a new oil tank and it is best to have them installed when the old tank is empty. As our luck would have it, the furnace did not turn off because we were out of oil, but for some other mysterious reason.

Our home has fallen into silence where the adults do not speak to each other but simply respond to the child's two word sentences. Dishes have not been done for days. There has been no heat for about 36 hours. The child did not sleep from Friday til last night when we huddled like a popsicle family in one bed. I have been working for days on end. Needless to say, exercise is not happening. I had cereal for supper and two brownies at lunch.

Adulthood, it never gets easier.

The cat is now sucking on my bathrobe.

POSITIVE: Lenore looks amazing! Visible and I mean visible difference in her size. Good for you Lenore! Keep it up.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Food for Thought

So a few nights ago I had a dream that I stepped on the scale and gained 15 lbs. The number on the scale was neon green, glowing, underlined three times and had stars next to it. Dream analysis.....go.

I think it means I'm crazy. I am officially obsessing over the number for no reason. Yes, I had 2 days of falling off the wagon this week, but I've shifted my focus to long term instead of the short term which I think is a healthier state of mind overall.

Heart health as always been a focus of mine. My family has a long list of heart problems and a myocardial infarction (massive heart attack) was the cause of my fathers sudden death. Sadly, this morning my mom's best friend also passed away. The cause most likely a heart attack.

This just reinforces for me the fact that so many health problems are linked to weight. None of the above mentioned people were overweight, but regardless weight is a major factor in health and well-being.

According to the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada every 7 minutes someone across our great nation dies of a heart attack.

That is a terrifying number of people. Although cardiovascular disease has declined significantly in the past few decades (70% between 1956 and 2002), we are not nearly where we should be.

I think the nation needs a new focus. Perhaps the shift from vanity to health is what we need when it comes to exercise.

They say that due to obesity and related health issues we'll be among the first generations to not outlive our parents. I say we prove them wrong.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Hi there. Long time no blog! Things have been hectic and I anticipate it will keep up for at least two more weeks. In fact, I suspect I will not exercise in a meaningful way again until one week from today...
Thank you for asking,I had house guests last weekend for a long weekend and this week I have been busily organizing a youth conference here in Sydney that starts on Thursday and runs until Sunday. Then, back in the work saddle on Monday with three full days and evenings of focus group sessions. What of my child? He will face maternal neglect but has a dad ready to pick up the slack.

What is the big news, you wonder? Certainly it can not be that I am busy doing conference/focus group/work? The big news is... In just two short weeks or wiser food choices and exercise, I am OFFICIALLY out of the DANGER ZONE! Waist is down two inches. Two. Whole. Inches. Adieu, Danger Zone. It's been nice, but I hope to never meet you again.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Scale Hatred

So I made it through the Shred level one and am pumped to start level two tonight. I feel like I'm ready for it. My body definitely adapted to the first set of moves within the ten days like JMike claimed it would. I even have just the slightest bit of a bicep. It's amazing really and I'll show anyone that's willing to humour me and fake excitement over my hard work.

I'm a little nervous for level 2. I don't want anything to be so hard that I'm discouraged. I guess I'll just have to remind myself that I adapted to level one and obviously with practice and determination the same thing is going to happen.

Now I said when I started level 1 that before I started level 2 I would hop back on the scale and take my measurements again. But I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I'm in a good place and I don't want to risk seeing a scary number and being disappointed.

So right now I'm struggling with do I? or don't I?

How often do other people step on the scale? Some people do it daily, some weekly, some monthly and some don't go by the scale at all. I'm not sure what would work for me and I'm not sure how to find out without facing that risk of disappointment.

Or it could go the other way and push me to work harder. But I guess I won't know until I try.

Friday, November 12, 2010


Well it looks like we've been neglecting our blog a little. Know what else I've been neglecting? Jillian.

It was a busy and exhausting past of couple of days (Tuesday and Wednesday and so I regret to announce that I could not even find the 20 minutes of shred on those days. I'm okay with that though. I'm over the guilt of a day or two. We'll have this conversation again though should I fall off the wagon completely.

Thursday was a holiday which meant a day off! (...and Thank you armed forces and vets!) I was disgustingly productive. I was able to sleep in a little, shred first thing in the am and then my friend S and I went for an hour long walk in the Baile Aird Trails. I'm sure I've spelled that wrong but you know what I mean, behind SPEC.

This 2 days of neglect though has led me to think of the future. And by future I mean December and the holiday season. Friends are home, parties are in full swing all the time, cocktails are flowing and finger foods are everywhere you look. Is it possible to keep this up? I think if I build up my momentum now I should be ok, but wish me luck.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


Gymtimidation. You may be thinking 'Who the hell does this girl think she is? She can't just go around making up words!" But anyone who has ever been out of shape, fat or is just nonathletic, knows what I'm getting at here.

There's a certain fear in entering the gym for the first time. There are so many feelings of uncertainty. Are people staring at me? Is it because I'm fat? What the hell is that machine? How does it work? What does one do with a kettlebell exactly?

It's hard! But at the same time you feel good because half the battle is stepping through the gym door.

Now I'm not a gym pro by any means but I can push start and I can do a crunch or two so I'm okay there. My real gymtimidation comes from the weights. I have literally no idea what to do with them. I've seen other people use them and I know people who are strong with muscles, so they must know what to do with them. But I don't really know what works what etc.

I could always try. But I'd have to walk past all the muscle heads. And I'd have to to fake confidence so they couldn't sense my fear. And I'm afraid the result would resemble a Mary Catherine Galagher gym skit gone horribly wrong. So I'll pass. I'll keep walking and mosey on over to the mats where I can do some core stuff (stuff...another gym term I use) and pretend that I don't know that in order to tone muscles you need to use weights.

That's right. I'd rather fake stupid than look stupid. And that's sad. I wish I had the courage to ask for help here, but I always chicken out! I don't want the gym employees/trainers to judge me. But isn't that there job to show me? Yes! In my head I know this, but my gymtimidation always wins.

This is all another reason why I am so pro the 30 Day Shred right now. JMike shows you easy weight moves and does them with you so you can check out proper form. I've been shredding for 5 consecutive days now and can already notice slight muscle definition in my arms and legs. Very slight right now, but it's definitley enough to keep me going.

Maybe by the time I'm done with the shred I'll have the know how and the confidence to lift at the gym. We'll see.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Everybody's Working for the Weekend

Saturday I did not shred it. I was all over hells creation looking for a replacement sofa for our basement as the one we have purchased just is not cutting the mustard ie: will not fit down the stairs. Also, I was working a table of at the Farmer's Market and continuing to unpack and tidy my house. One day it will be done.

Sunday, I was a beacon of achievement. I cleaned, I refinished a chair, I did laundry and I did my shred while the child napped. Jillian Michaels was right! By day five, I did notice a big difference in my capabilities. As I sit here, I am talking big about moving up to Level 2 before the first ten days are up!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

The Support Issue

I have now completed day 3 of the 30 Day Shred. My body hates me and loves me all at the same time. I must admit I thought Sid was insane when she told me about a 20 minute workout that would kick my ass into shape. But it is a great workout tool, especially for people who only really have 20 minutes a day to spare.

Working on the same principle as the coveted P90X it uses muscle confusion to shock your body in shaping up...quick. The saying 'No pain, No gain' is essential to the mental state you need to maintain here. I had no idea that my entire body would hurt this much! I love it!

Now all that being said I would like to get to the point I really want to make with this post. What I really learned from Jillian Michaels during these past 3 days. I need a new sports bra.

For those of you that know me, you can see why this would be an issue. For those of you that don't, I will admit I am a 34DD. That's right. I may only be 5'1, but I wasn't lying when I mentioned in previous posts that I was curvy. Beyonce has nothing on me. In my healthiest state I am truly an hourglass.

So now you can see my alarm when I'm doing jumping jacks and skipping rope with JMike and I realize that I better take er' easy or I might hurt myself. It is hard to focus and concentrate on doing a few more reps when your body is working against you.

JMike is screaming, "no bouncing, just smooth transitions" (or something along those lines) and in my head I'm screaming "F you Jillian and your athletic body!" (just the workout rage talking, I heart her.)

But seriously as women we're told we need to be healthy (men too), but it's not always that easy. You would think that some genius sportswear company makes an amazing, supportive and tight fitting sports bra. I hope they do and I just haven't found it yet! But I have spent many shopping trips trying on sports bras and all with no luck. Some are too lose, some don't have enough coverage and one I tried on last night was a freaky shape that I'm positive no lady parts would actually fit into. Who designs these things? Men? It's a slap in the face. Literally, and hell yeah, pun intended.

A couple of years ago Jessica Simpson made the press for saying something about how she's not a good golfer because her boobs get in the way. People laughed and thought she was ridiculous but the girl was right! I dare a male golfer to try to get it on the green while maintaining good form around boobs. And I dare any curvy woman to get in a good workout, in a sucky bra and not have it be the only thing on her mind.

But I refuse to give up! My battle with weight and fitness continues and now so does my sports bra mission. If anyone has any suggestions PLEASE let me know. My next step is to find the time to get to the Halifax Lulu for the Lululemon TaTa Tamer. I don't know anyone that wears one, but the online reviews seem impressive and I am willing to try anything at this point!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Welcome to the Danger Zone

Well. Yesterday I finally opened the Heart and Stroke Foundation measuring tape that was so lovingly gifted to be my Lenore's mom. For all of those out there thinking or saying to me that you are not overweight and you do not need to lose weight, I give you this shocking reality: My waist is in the danger zone for Women and Asian Men. The heart and stroke danger zone. All be it, only by an inch, but still, in the danger zone. It will be great to see myself slip right out of it after my 30 day shred.

Last night, while doing by Shred for a personal record of three days in a row, I thought many times of turning the stinking DVD off. I was tired... Very very tired. Shredding at 9:30 PM is not ideal for me, but I have been working quite a bit into the evenings lately. As I was watching my sweaty reflection in the TV screen and thinking about if it would really be so bad to just turn the thing off, I thought of lots of things: my public commitment to seeing this through, the promise of great results by the shredheads and other before and after sites, and also I thought of my two teenage cousins: active and decidedly hip and young ladies who have always thought that I was stylish and cool. I can't let them begin to see me as the old cousin dressed all in shapeless black. I must regain self confidence and a sense of style so that we can walk again down the street together in fancy shoes and outfits considered to be au courant. This Shred is for you M & S, we'll hit the boxing day sales together.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

A New Month - A New Pledge

For the longest time I have been trying to get to the gym BEFORE work. This means getting up by at least 6 and heading to the Y while most of the Universe is sound asleep. this weeks recent battle with insomnia has allowed this to happen. I am proud to say that at 5:30 AM yesterday morning I couldn't take the restless non-sleep anymore and decided to hit the gym.

It was as great as I remembered! There was no wait or line up for any machine. There were no 16 year old boys constantly changing the TV channels. There was only serious, dedicated fitness seekers. Most of them were the same people that I remember from months ago when I was one of them.

I manages a steady one hour of cardio without worrying that I was holding someone up from getting on my machine and with a clear and happy head and heart. The idea of waking in darkness and going to the gym is one that I struggled with, but I found it all worth it when I realized that could check the one hour of cardio off my list along with the half hour of core moves and i was showered and at work by 8AM. long before my colleagues arrive.

I expected Sid to find me asleep under my desk by 2:00 but in reality I was alert and super efficient all day. Coincidentally @WomensHealthMag tweeted a link to an online article about the brain boosting benefits of cardio.

Though it doesn't mention anything about working out the AM that time just feels right for me. I think I'll try to get to the gym in the mornings for the entire month of November, because like Sid I am resetting the clock. My scale tells me that I am back at my original starting weight and so it seems fitting to start over.

What I pledged to do in October didn't work for me. This whole fitness/weight loss/health thing turned out to be about trial and error really. What works for some people doesn't work for others. And so here is my new November Pledge:

1. To TRY do my cardio and core in the mornings before work. (Realistically there will be morning i won't get there).
2. To eat healthy foods while not depriving myself of decadence. The feeling of deprivation makes me want things more, so moderation must be practiced.
3. To listen to Sid's great advice and spend 20 minutes a day (evenings) with Jillian Michaels and her 30 day shred. (I recenlty purchased her DVD box set and can't wait to try the yoga too!)
4. To take advantage of Cape Breton and its natural and beautiful hiking areas on the weekends when I can and before it the winter really hits.

So that's it. I have officially pushed re-start. I don't feel like I've failed this 30 day thing because I feel like I have a learned many valuable lessons and have new knowledge to carry me forward. I hope our followers will stay with us past our initial 30 day challenge. The comments, suggestions and positive energy is playing a surprisingly huge roll in motivation!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Old Dog New Tricks

I have been thinking a lot about the expression "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" in the past couple of days. Me being the old dog on the heels of my almost total failure to achieve anything on my fat to fit challenge. Being an information nerd, I decided to do a little 'digging' into the origin and meaning of the expression and I came up with this:

"This must be one of the oldest proverbial sayings in the language. There are many early citations of it (in Heywood, 1546 etc.) and many of those refer to it as an 'old saying'. The earliest example of it in print is in John Fitzherbert's The boke of husbandry, 1534:

...and he [a shepherd] muste teche his dogge to barke whan he wolde haue hym, to ronne whan he wold haue hym, and to leue ronning whan he wolde haue hym; or els he is not a cunninge shepeherd. The dogge must lerne it, whan he is a whelpe, or els it will not be: for it is harde to make an olde dogge to stoupe.

By 'stoop', Fitzherbert meant 'put its nose to the ground to find a scent', as was the meaning of the verb in the 16th century."

Fitzherbert said HARD, not can't. It is hard to teach an old dog new tricks, but not impossible. This is very encouraging!

My failures have also had me reflecting a bit about my past as a thin person. What was different? I can think of four things:
1. Dancing. Lots and lots and lots of dancing.
2. Serving. This means walking and moving constantly for every shift worked.
3. Not owning a car. This means walking just about everywhere and lugging things home again.
4. A greater social and health awareness. Thinking more carefully about the food I eat, the implications to myself and to the world around me.

It's just a matter of re-acquainting myself if my strong will, my willingness to haul ass, and being more aware of what I am eating. In essence, this old dog has some tricks up her sleeve, they just need to be relearned. The new trick I need to learn is fitting some sort of physical activity and meal planning into a busy life of working, parenting, and volunteering. But this is not impossible, millions of people do it - it just involves a bit of a learning curve and some planning.

Over the course of the last two weeks, I have been having lots of chats with people about thinness, ideal weight, body image, and so on. The crux of it seems to be that your ideal weight is one where you are ultimately healthy - meaning you eat a nice well rounded diet that doesn't have too much salt or sugar and that you do your best to be active a few times a week and feeling happy and comfortable in your own skin. A record year of being overweight - even if just slightly so - has made me realize that I am not happy here.

So it is with great excitement that I announce a big success for me! I have reset the clock on my 30 day shred. As of right now, measurements have been taken, yesterday was the new day one and TODAY I DID MY 30 DAY SHRED FOR THE SECOND DAY IN A ROW! My muscles were sore, I got home late, and I didn't get a chance to "shred it" until 9:45pm - but I did it. Major hurdle jumped.

And for the sake of interest, the Globe and Mail had an interesting news story about sodium regulations in Canadian food. For what it's worth, I find even the beginnings of a conversation about sodium and food regulation to be promising - though the move seems possibly timid and ineffectual. Looks like it will remain up to the individual to shop the outside aisle of the grocery store and watch their own sodium intake.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Yesterday on Oprah I watched Portia DeRossi share her struggle with weight, health and perceptions. To see someone who seems so happy publicly share her dark struggle was interesting. It also puts things into perspective when you realize that at 82 pounds she still thought she was fat.

It makes me wonder how skewed my own perceptions are. The girl I see in the mirror is not the same girl I see in pictures. Some day's I see as myself as curvy, some days as healthy, some days as average and there are days that I see myself as the recluse who will eventually need to be lifted out of my house by the fire department, shipped to the airport on a flatbed truck where I will need to purchase an entire row of seats for myself while enroute to the obesity clinic where my roommate Jojo will hide pizza in her rolls to chow down on after hours when the staff has turned out the lights.

Yes, my imagination went there. But I think it goes to show how thought consuming the whole weight issue can be. And also how perceptions can be stretched to the point where you don't recognize yourself.

Skinny girls want curves, curvy girls want to be thin. It's a never ending cycle of wanting what you can't have. So my new goal is to be happy with what I have. To embrace my curves and be okay with the fact that I'm never going to look like a VS swimsuit model. I can however be healthier. And so I'll keep gymmin' while I work towards that.

It won't be easy. Last night's FB status read "i would rather stab myself in the eye with a hot fork than drag my ass to the gym right now". But I went. And I felt good about it afterwards! So here's to celebrating me, no matter my size, weight or perception of what that all means on any given day.

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Seasons of Eating

Missed Saturday, but I did have a great day . The Child and I went on a double date with another mom and son duo to a book reading at the library. Though Mom #2 might not have considered our walk a good one, for someone as sedentary as me, I counted it as victory! And I was not the one pushing the children in the double stroller.

Halloween was quite something, there was a marathon of visiting as The Child is far too young to be trick or treating so we dressed him and went to a few select houses for a visit with our cow baby then returned home to the trick or treaters and got a very amped up 17 month old off to bed.

Today, I have been doing something "they" call shocking my immune system. It is a new tack I am trying in my weight loss journey. The "shock" (to the immune system) is the amount of mini Halloween bars, rockets, maynards chews and tiny bags of chips I can eat in one day without getting sick. So far, the answer is a lot. My theory is to shock the system with so many calories in one day that my metabolism goes into overdrive. The safe return to normal eating habits tomorrow should help me lose at least a pound. *I know this is not true, it is helping me justify my behaviour.*

There is today's admission: I have eaten chips. And not just the tiny bags. I also ate ONE HUNDRED Pringles - light Pringles - I'm not so out of control as to eat the full fat.

Our tech gurus were in the office today and we got to chatting about our favourite Christmas chocolates as that is really the next big eat fest. It occurred to me that as a society, in concert with advertisers and major candy corporations, we have really set ourselves up for obesity.

Starting in the fall, we have Thanksgiving - this is really just the stomach stretching precursor to many other festivals of food. Quickly on the heels of Thanksgiving, we dress our children up in crazy costumes and send them out begging sugar from the neighbours. Luckily, as adults, we have a good month to buy, eat, buy, eat and then buy again countless bags of tiny treats and also be left with many after 8:00pm when the little tricksters have gone home to weigh, trade, and eat insane amounts of chocolate, chips, and high fructose corn syrup. There is about one month to eat all of your Halloween candy before Christmas parties, Pot's of Gold, Toffifee's, Toblerones, Candy Canes, Quality Streets, Sugar Cookies, Scotch Cookies and so on become the order of the day. We gorge on these things while drinking heavily for a sold 30 - 40 days (Christmas day leftovers and New Year's Eve/Day parties) before we resolve to become fit and hit the gym for roughly one month. Then into February for and a slight slip to overindulgence with an obligatory Valentine's Day box of chocolates and a three course meal in a restaurant. Sometime in either March or April, a festive bunny arrives with even more candy in the form of tiny, and large, chocolate eggs. We eat and eat and eat Cadbury Cream Eggs, Mini Eggs, Peanut Butter Eggs, Marshmallow Eggs, Chocolate Bunnies and on and on. Finally, another respite... Until the warm weather brings BBQ and ice cream season to our doorsteps - this lasts at least three months. I remember being 20 and eating three BBQ'ed hot dogs on white buns in a sitting - this would be chased with a steak and salad. HOW was I so thin? I guess I was active and still rocking the young metabolism.

It would take a truly strong will to resist all of this, is it any wonder so many of us have trouble finding balance?

On that note, off to the the 30 day shred with the hopes of burning a third of the Halloween candy I consumed today.


Oh, what? All those small candy bars, mini bags of chips and caramel apples weren't for me? Right. Of course they weren't.

Friday, October 29, 2010

The Half Way Epiphany

Strangely I feel good about admitting that I had a terrible week. Monday really set the tone for how things went for me and I stayed in a unstable state of mind. I also decided to make some changes.

I will no longer be tracking every morsel of food that goes into my mouth with the Daily Plate. It made me crazy! It also made me feel guilty. At one point a Granny Smith apple put me over my limit and I felt horrible. I never want to feel bad about eating an apple. That's wrong on so many levels. So I'm stopping. Calorie counting may be the right tool for some people but not for me and that's ok.

I also decided to focus on more realistic and attainable goals. I always think that I can go back to the gym after one of my hiatuses and start right back where I left off. It does not work that way. Yes, 4 months ago I was hitting the gym 5 days at week at 6am and doing an hour of cardio before a half hour of core and toning moves. I'm just not there right now. it doesn't mean I won't get there, but I think I need to realize that nothing happens overnight. Or in 2 weeks. It's going to take more time than I thought (and hoped) but if I work my way in slowly and make a commitment I can be that girl again. I can even out do that girl. i just need to be realistic so that I don't get discouraged and give up.

Thursday, October 28, 2010


The three pound weight gain has really thrown me for a loop. Honestly, there was a moment where I almost reached for a giant two litre of ice cream and ate it all in one sitting. But I held back. In retrospect, I am not convinced that this was the "best" month to start my 30 day challenge, then again when is a good month?

So I have a lot of confessions to make, well really one big confession. I have not been exercising and I have not been counting my calories on the daily plate. What I have been doing is making a conscious effort to eat less sugar and salt and to generally move more. This is about the best I can offer with the week I have been having. I missed my last blog day because I was traveling for focus groups around CB leaving Sydney at 8:00am and returning at 11:30pm. The next morning was a similar early start with meetings through lunch and the afternoon. Last night I did not sleep at all and tonight I have a meeting at 8:00pm. D is in Halifax doing arty things and it is just the Child, the cat and I holding down the fort. Though this is not diet related, I feel it is only right to tell you that I am hanging on to my sanity by the thinnest of threads.

If the Child chooses to hit me in the face or whine the word "noise" over and over and over and over again for minutes, I might completely break down. The fact that I have not turned to ice cream and chips is a miracle.

Lessons: I am pretty busy. Work is busy, life is busy, volunteering is busy. D is busy which means we are juggling schedules. A regimented exercise regime is going to be hard which means we are going to have to get a little bit more creative. And by we I mean me. So far this week my creativity has extended to dancing wildly around to the kitchen with the Child and D after and before supper. It worked for Kristie Alley... And then she got mega fat again so maybe not the best role model.

At any rate, I take up the charge of the 30 day shred again on Saturday - for now it is safely out of my reach on D's laptop in Halifax.

(I hope no one reads this and realizing I am home breaks in to my house in the night!)

The Monday that Never Happened

I promise to get back to updating you on my successes but had to post this in follow up to my last rant.

No one tells you that borderline starvation will cause serious lapses in mental capacity. No, I learned that the hard way.

Monday was probably one of the most emotionally overwhelming days I have had in a long time. This in part was due to the fact that had I not been starving it could have been just another manic Monday.

But it wasn't. When I found out that I was cutting out way too many calories and could my intake by at least 300 I was pumped! I was starving for a week so I really couldn't wait to eat. Then my office phone rang. It was my doctor's office telling me that I had an appointment for a kidney ultrasound at 2:30. I was not allowed to eat or drink anything.

On any other day I could have handled this news, but today it messed with my head and all I could think about was food!

So I did what I do best and complained to Sid about how I was starving, I couldn't concentrate etc. I even raged out for a minute and yelled at a gift bag under my desk. Sidney pointed out that I was losing my mind and we had a good laugh about it.

Then I realized that I was wearing knee high boots and would most likely end up in only a hospital "johnny" later. I conveyed my fashion worry to Sid, who convinced me that would not be the case and I would probably only have to unbutton my pants for the ultra sound later. So with her sound advice ringing in my ears, I opted not to go home and change first.

So 2:00 rolls around and I'm famished, barely able to focus on anything. I register for the ultra sound and am lead to a change room. That's right a change room. I'm handed a Johnny and a clear garbage bag to put my clothes in. I almost passed out! Sid was wrong! She's never wrong! In fact we call her "the wizard" at work because she has this crazy way of always being right and knowing everything. For a brief moment I hated the wizard.

So I sucked it up and changed. I emerged wearing my johnny and went to take my seat in the waiting room next to two 400 year olds and a guy who looked like he just escaped from prison.

Then I looked down. And I was indeed sitting in a waiting room wearing knee high hooker boots and a johhny. Tears! Let me just point out that I am not that girl that cries at the drop of a dime. I bet it’s safe to say that even my closest friends have only rarely (and with good reason) seen me cry. But here I was feeling the draft from my johhny, rocking hooker boots and crying into my Chanel satchel while clutching my Glad bag of belongings.

It is a day I have put far behind me but will not soon forget. Oh, and I did not go to the gym that day.

Monday, October 25, 2010


Not a fan of that type of emoticon but...

............ DESPAIR.


In case you hadn't noticed by my extreme overuse of exclamation points (which I don't normally condone), I have had a rough day. Keep in mind that it's not quite 10:30 AM yet.

Let me start out with my workout for yesterday. My friend S and I got up at 8am and drove to the gorgeous Cape Breton Highlands to hike the Skyline Trail. For years I've been hearing what a fantastic hike it was and how the scenery was breathtaking. I couldn't wait!

We powered up the trail finally making it to then of the earth, literally. The view was amazing! It was ridiculously windy so we very carefully stepped down each tier of steps until we were at the very end! Then we realized we had to go back up the steps. The trek up began. And every time we thought we were just about at the top, there were more steps. It was great knowing that I was getting a good workout in, but my legs were not thanking me.

8km's later (mostly up a a slight hill on the way back) we had completed the loop and reached my Escape. It was not the leisurely stroll I expected and I loved it more for that!

Which brings me to Monday. Okay friends brace yourselves. My rage is about to takeover.

I got out of bed this morning and jumped on the scale expecting be down a couple pounds. NOT THE CASE! I was up 1 pound. My head was spinning. How was this possible? I worked out 4 days this week and I ate healthy foods and I stuck to my calorie intake as allotted to me by MyPlate at

Enraged and curious I went to work and chatted about my dilemma to Sid and B. Suddenly Sid asks "By the way, what exactly is your daily calorie intake?"

And I nonchalantly answered....(seriously, brace yourselves)....948.

The look on Sidney's face was a mixture of amazement/disgust/panic.

I'll save you the raw details of the conversation that ensued, but its safe to say we figured out that i was starving. Literally!!!!!!!!! (note the overuse again).

Do you have any idea how hard it is to stay under 948 calories a day. Don't try it,it's not safe, just take it from's F#$%^ING HARD!

No wonder I was so cranky last week! I was hungry! I know I'm a complete idiot for going along with that number in the first place, but I think I should get an award for not leaving a pile of bodies in my wake.

So back to MyPlate to re-adjust my info and manually enter my new calorie intake of 1200. (This number came at the suggestion of a trusted, credible nutritionist friend this time.)

Oh and worth noting was the fine print that I found on my original info that said I should consult a doctor before starting with such a low calorie intake number.

All I know is that if my scale had testicles this morning I so would have kicked it in them. Same goes for Lance*.

*Please note I don't really hold Lance responsible but I do need someone to hold my Monday grudge against and he wins.

Weekend Warrior Retreats

Well. Here is a rare treat! This is what Lenore and I look like when he head to the gym! Impressed? Inspired? Jealous? Likely all three.

Saturday and Sunday were nutty! I was at the Mill River Resort for the annual Maritime Spinners Retreat as previously mentioned. Though it was windy and though it was raining, Rachel and I set out around the resort for a brisk 30 minute stroll in the wind and rain. Umbrellas were blown inside out, but we felt accomplished and GREAT. I splurged on a couple of treats: a chocolate chip scone, a chocolate lava cake, and a handful of dark chocolate almonds. But with the walk and the stairs climbed (my floor was on the second floor, and YES I counted the flights of stairs walked) I still managed to stay within my goals for daily caloric intake. TIP: vegetables are practically free! Eatemup! A small aside:WHY do conferences insist on giving vegetarians the most disgusting meals? My supper was spaghetti with leftover homemade tomato soup from lunch served as sauce with the same steamed vegetables that the meat eaters were having with their turkey dinners. Why couldn't they just give me the mash potatoes and veggies?

It was also suggested at the retreat that I am not eating enough calories at 1188 per day. If you think this is low, wait til you hear from Lenore later on today!

Yesterday, I hardly ate anything at all. I had a big breakfast, 3/4 of a sandwich, many coffees, and a muffin. Somehow with the health properties in those foods, I think I probably maxed out my calories anyway. I would not know because I was traveling home from the retreat and was in transit from 10am-10pm. No exercise, no daily plate, no nothing. Those idiot TV trainers that are always going on about how "everyone has time to work out in their day" are sort of wrong. I mean I guess you could squeeze it in if you didn't care about sleeping after 12 hours of travel. You might have the time, but not the "time" you know?

Shameful Memory: Eating in one day a Love It sized Cold Stone Creamery ice cream, macaroni and cheese, and more ice cream. Later that night I had painful, PAINFUL cramps and I thought I was going to be sick. In the middle of the night in the washroom I seriously thought I was having a baby in the toilet and would later appear on the hit TLC series "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". I was trying to remember where the car seat was stored, had we saved any infant clothes and so on. Trying to come to terms with the shame of calling work the next day to say that I couldn't make it in, that I had had a toilet baby. But all was well. I was just sick from too much fat and dairy.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The First Weekend/Major Hurdle

Okay so let me start by getting this off my chest right away. I did NOT get to the gym on either Friday or Saturday. And I have this horrible sense of guilt about it, which I don't quite understand.

It's not like I kicked a baby or killed a puppy, I just did't get to the gym. Life happened I suppose. There was work, there was drinking, there was the mall. Weekend stuff. Minus the beer I still managed to stay within my calorie limit but I still feel pretty horrible about not being more dedicated to some kind of exercise program.

I guess I could count elbow tipping and power shopping and running around in 3 inch stilettos. But instead I will count this as major obstacle number one and a valuable life lesson learned. Life is going to happen again next weekend so my challenge is to conquer it, and by conquer I mean working out before boozing, just to clarify.

I will also rid myself of this guilt because lets face it, there are going to be days when I just don't have the time to exercise. As long as those days don't win I should be OK, right?

So what do I do from here? I guess I take the advice of one of my favorite atheists and "offer it up to Jesus and move on".

Friday, October 22, 2010


Well. Here I am. Safe and sound in beautiful Mill River, Prince Edward Island for the annual Maritime Spinner's Retreat (yarn, not bikes). I have not entered an ounce of food all day as I have been from one end of PEI to the other, (literally!) which I know is not an earth shattering distance. AND I have eaten.... A SQUARE. A cheesecake square. Dreams of a leisurely swim in the pool are dashed by a co-ed high school volleyball tournament; I don't think I need say more. So aside from carting my child around, exercise has been minimal. Tomorrow perhaps a brisk morning walk - assuming the rain and wind dies down.

I am not calling this day a failure yet. Things could have been worse and Rome wasn't built in a day. Don't give up on me yet!'s only day 4

Okay so I went to the gym last night (even though I would have rather chewed my own arm off) and I managed to up my cardio to an hour instead of my usual half hour. Small victory for me, yay!

But while I was on the elliptical and the treadmill all I could think about was the people on the machines around me. They had such focus on their faces. Where does this come from? Am I just not there yet? What exactly were they thinking about? I can only assume that they are thinking about their health or their goals, I'm not sure really. I do know that nothing like that goes on in my head while I'm pedaling or walking.

For me the first half of the time is spent willing myself to go on. Come on Lenore, you can do it! And then I think I'm awesome and I inevitably make the mistake of looking down at the timer. 4 minutes. Then I spend the next little while convincing myself that my lungs won't really explode and I'm (probably) not going to die.

Then when I hit my stride there are no thoughts at all really. Not useful ones anyway. To be honest the only thing happening in my head at this point is the music video for whatever top 40 song is currently blasting through my ipod and deafening me. Sometimes I get so caught up that I actually find myself dancing slightly. Yes, that's right. This has happened to me. I find myself busting a move right there on the treadmill and then thinking "OMG there are other people here and THEY CAN SEE ME! So I pull the ever smooth move of pretending to stretch or fix my hair or something, but who am I kidding? No one.

My biggest fear is that this will happen and due to my poor physical state I won't be able to recover like I could have before and I'll be bucked from the treadmill, fly off the back and of course hit the wall behind me. That part I can handle, here's the fear part. That when someone comes to my rescue and asks me what happened, I'll be so shaken up that I won't be able to piece together a lie in my head and blame it on a seizure, a neurological disorder or a rare and unpronounceable condition, nope the truth will fly out of my mouth....My bad, I got caught up in a sudden and severe case of Bieber Fever and lost control.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Sidney's Log - Day 3

Right off the top, not a very creative title. This sets the tone for the general mood, I think. WHAT a week! I was in meetings all week and for the past two nights did not get home until 10:30 or 11:00. Granted one of the meetings was a lot of fun with a delicious glass of a honey wine (lots of sugar there), but what this means is two days of NOT shredding it.

On a positive note, I stuck to my caloric intake and did a nice 2.43 mile walk at lunch yesterday. I will take this as a victory in and of itself.

Realization 1: I eat WAY WAY WAY too much sugar! Here are some shocking three day numbers for you: Monday, 62 grams; Tuesday, a more respectable 20 grams; Wednesday, 58 grams! Part of my late return home post meeting last night was the purchase of Shredded Wheat - no salt no sugar added. This should help?

Realization 2: There is a lot of salt in cheese. I KNEW cheese was salty. I say all the time "cheese is salty" but to SEE the sodium numbers on my daily plate creeping up with each bit of cheese I eat... Shocking.

Realization 3: Meat eaters must eat an insane amount of protein in a day. Yesterday, I had one egg, no tofu or legumes and my protein intake was 67 grams where my daily intake should be about 29 grams.

Periodically I am struck with a Shameful Memory I mean, it's not really hard to remember them because the memories are all of four days old, but still, I believe I am a NEW person.

Shameful Memory:
Sitting in a darkened movie theatre eating salt and butter pretzel bites with nacho cheeze, chased with a small bag of almond M & M's, washed down with a Coke Zero. Yeah. The Coke Zero, that will make the difference.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Lenoreo vs the 2

Okay, so I didn't think that dragging my ass to the gym on the second day would be tough. However, I have on occasion, been wrong.

First I planned on going after work, but I had to eat supper. Then I planned on going after supper but the news was on and who am I to turn down Steve Murphy? Then I thought well maybe I could go twice tomorrow? It was at that point that I let my mind flash-forward to day 30........ Sidney, victorious in skinny jeans and me crying into a cupcake in the corner.

In a whirlwind of sneakers, ipods and water bottles I found myself on the elliptical, pushing through a 30 minute cardio blast.

It may have taken an imaginary dose of jealousy but I got there;)

The Pursuit of Health and Happiness

So like Sidney I too have had a number of sobering moments lately, they mostly involve me walking in front of a mirror and screaming “OMG who is that girl?!.” Now don’t get me wrong my weight gain didn’t happen overnight, it’s been a year of a temporary thyroid condition which for me meant having a broken metabolism and sleeping a lot, and plain and simple laziness. It is so much easier to drive everywhere instead of walking (especially in my new Ford Escape!), and to lie on the couch and watch TV instead of being physically active. Sure there are a ton of good TV shows on, but enough is enough.

So I pledge that for the next 30 days:

I will not give in to junk food or fast food (and in the rare case that I must, I will make healthier choices)

I will monitor my daily caloric intake on

I will sweat at least once a day, every day. Whether it means going to the gym, attending aerobics classes, checking out the local trails and hiking scenes...whatever! Variety will hopefully keep me from being distracted by a boring routine.

Three simple things that will hopefully lead to a lighter me. And just to state the obvious I do not think that I’ll be a new person in 30 days, but I do hope that this month leads to a second healthier month and so on, and so on and so on. And I challenge anyone that’s reading this to join us. It’s just one month, what have you got to lose? Except excess weight, stress, potential weight related health risks.........

Monday, October 18, 2010

Sidney's Log - Day One

First of all, it doesn't matter what you look like. So what if you show up to a noon time casual stroll at the Y wearing your bf's dirty (literally food on them) gym pants and a totally Rankin paint stained beige shirt? So what if you forgot to pack a sweater so you have to wear your blazer over the whole ensemble? The point is that you SHOWED UP to burn those 59 calories that a casual 20 minute stroll at 2 mph will burn. That's what matters. And I did it! Take that girl on the treadmill with nice gym clothes.

Other accomplishments of note: I did not eat trifle or chocolate cupcakes during today's staff meeting. This might not seem like much, but at the last staff meeting, I ate nachos and onion chip dip. I think this points to a real life/snacking low because those two things together do not even taste good.

Another thing that is over is my brief and torrid affair with noon time pop drinking. Seriously, when did I, very public pop denouncer, start drinking pop at lunch?

My first 30 Day Shred was completed (this time in paint stained pants) and a giant 27 year old t-shirt. But it was completed. Though I feel like throwing up and my arms are shaking, it is not quite as terrible as I remembered.

The daily plate has reminded me of two things today:

1. I may have to give up coffee or at least return to the days of drinking my coffee black. Updates on my successes in the days to come.
2. A "sweet and salty" granola bar is a chocolate bar in disguise and is, therefore, not an appropriate snack.

Learning things again for the 100th time is going to be eye opening.

It's Time...

There have been a variety of humbling and sobering moments lately which have led directly to this moment. A very public, very necessary declaration to achieve weight loss. It was difficult dealing with pants I own not buttoning, but when the post baby transition pants meant to only fit for a month or so are becoming TOO SMALL, something's gotta give. It would seem that that "something" is daily binges on things such as chips and ice cream. Restaurant lunches with creamy dressings and sides of salty fries. Lying around on the couch willing snacks to levitate into my mouth... you catch my drift.

I have flirted with being overweight for the past 16 months and I have realized it is not for me. I am too vain. I liked being thin too much. I am left with no choice but to call myself out publicly for being a tad gluttonous.

My 30 day pledge:

1. NO chips
2. NO ice cream
3. three to four noon time walks on the track at the Y
4. Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred
5. Monitoring my daily eating on the daily plate
6. Drink more than half a glass of water a day

I have weighed and measured myself (more humbling and sobering realities) and will, at the end of 30 days, share my successes. Lenore and I will be blogging on alternate days about the successes (or failures) we have achieved.